Dating is like a minefield enough without thinking about who pays.
Whatever your financial situation. If you’re on a date then the boyfriend should treat you right by paying, shouldn’t they?
Isn’t the man supposed to pay for everything? Isn’t that what boyfriends do?
Here I dive into the whole question and answer who should pay, when they should pay, how much, and more.
Are boyfriends supposed to pay?
Boyfriends are not expected to pay for everything. But he will usually offer to pay on a first date. Whether or not you accept it, is down to you. As a courtesy, offer to split the bill in half then you won’t feel guilty if things don’t work out.
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How old are you and your boyfriend?
High school is when we have our own money and we’re thinking about boyfriends and girlfriends.
We want to impress our new partner and showing we have our own means to an income is one of those ways.
We may enjoy getting a coffee or a treat when we’re young and we’re learning the boundaries. But as we get older, dates become more expensive.
What do we do when those costs add up? Movies and meals seem to be more expensive every time.
The cost soon increases and someone with a full time job as opposed to a student is in a far better place to pay.
When we’re young, we’re usually quite a good judge on what each other can afford and can plan an appropriate date.
Early communication can prevent any worry so you can get to know each other instead.
How long have you been dating?
A new couple will gladly have the boyfriend pay or offer to pay. This is the done thing and is expected in new relationships. On future dates it may be a bit different.
As you get to know one another, you’ll get more comfortable with each other where money is concerned.
A first date may be boyfriend funded but months down the line things may be different. If you’ve been dating for a while you may have worked out what to do with both your finances.
When you get to know each other, you’ll figure out who wants to pay and what they can afford. It’s always better to know where you stand.
What’s your boyfriend’s financial situation?
This is something you’ll know very little about at first and so you shouldn’t worry about it. A boyfriend is going to offer to pay for things regardless of whether he can afford it.
If you’re going on expensive dates, then perhaps the subject should be broached before. No one likes to waste money, and that includes on dates.
If you find out your boyfriend is working two jobs. Then you really need to think about whether he should be paying for everything.
What do you think of a boyfriend who pays?
Women are drawn to someone who can provide physical, emotional and financial security. We’re more likely to find a confident and successful person attractive.
Biology says we have a better chance in life for our children if we’re with those who are able to support them over time.
At first we’re very impressed with someone who has money but how long does that last? First dates are one thing but later dates need further thought.
People like their independence and money can realize that for men and women.
What does he think of you?
Some men don’t mind paying for things. But paying for everything all the time may not be something he’d like to do.
Men want to be loved as much as the next person and they want to be loved for who they are, not how much money they have.
Should you allow your boyfriend to pay?
In the first few dates or if you don’t see each other very often. I can understand allowing your boyfriend to pay for things.
It’s difficult if he’s keen but you may not be comfortable in allowing it. Perhaps you don’t want to feel you owe him something.
If it’s something he insists on doing, then let him but you need to tell him if you feel differently.
Do remember, even though you may have spent a lot of money already on your hair, nails and everything else. The boyfriend doesn’t know that and didn’t expect you to.
Different ways to divide up the bill
When dating you’ll find your own routine you’re happy with. Your partners will appreciate knowing what’s expected when it comes to cost.
It may be more convenient, for whoever is paying, to take it in turns. Someone pays for one night, meal or movie tickets and the partner pay the next time.
This obviously assumes you’ll be seeing each other again. If not, offer to pay for half as it’s the decent thing to do, whether he knows it’s the last date or not.
Don’t start dividing costs into half like an accountant with an invoice to follow. It’s not a good look for anyone and ruins the date.
Don’t ask for money back if things don’t work out. You hear stories of people sending a text for half the money from a date. Let it go and don’t do this.
Dating is an expense like gym memberships or bills. Take any failure as an investment in finding the right person. After all that’s what we’re all trying to do in the end.
If you don’t want to see someone again, think about whether you want to pay for half. Just to avoid any problems should you ever bump into each other.
If you were introduced by a friend, then you need to be more careful if things don’t work out.
Some people can be sensitive where money is concerned, so as long as you offer, you don’t need to worry about it.
A boyfriend may pay for everything on a first date but don’t expect that to be the case on future dates. Even if you want to see him again.