You’re somehow with a man who has a choice to make, over multiple women.
He may enjoy the attention, but you need him to make a decision and choose one of you.
Here I’ve given you 10 effective ways to get him to choose you instead of the other woman.
Table of Contents
You’re the other woman too
Although you want him to choose you, you’re the other woman to her. You’re seeing a man who thinks it’s ok to have multiple women on the go.
Does he want to choose one of you, or is he happy having you both? He’s seeing you both at your best and you’re competing for his attention.
A man who does this is immature and afraid of commitment. He’s made you both love him and he’s ok with that. He’s playing you both against each other.
You should be more high value and not allow yourself to get in this situation. But you’re in it now and you clearly like this man, so how do you get him?
You want him to forego what he’s enjoying at the moment and accept he has to choose. This is tricky.
At some point you need to give him an ultimatum but not scare him off. He needs to be persuaded to do the right thing and pick one of you.
You want him to pick you and for you both to commit to a new relationship. Here’s what I would do if I were you to get you there.
10 Effective ways to get him to choose you
These are effective ways to encourage your man through various means to choose you. It won’t be easy and it will take time, but you can do it.
1. Don’t talk about the other woman
You may be tempted to find out all you can about the other woman in your man’s life. After all, you can do a lot with the information.
The only way you can find out about her is through him. He’s not going to want to talk about the other woman to you.
He’ll know how you feel about her and if you keep asking about her, it will have the opposite effect you want.
Your man will get frustrated if all he ever hears from you is the other woman. It’s going to take all your will power but try and keep your interest to yourself.
If you talk trash about the other woman, it makes you look bad. You want him to believe you’re better than her. By behaving like it’s a competition, even though it is, will put him off.
You need him to believe you’re a high value woman and better than her. Let her nag him about you and what you’re doing. It’s a sign of insecurity on her part.
2. Make the time you spend together count
He’s spending time with you both, so you need to make sure he’s enjoying it more with you. He needs to associate you with having fun in every way.
Don’t be clingy and pander to his every need. Make sure you have fun too so he can see you enjoy his company as much as he does yours.
Make sure when you see him you do something special. Make it something to remember so he has memories he may think about when he sees her.
You want him to think you’re the keeper, so look your best as well by keeping it natural. If he notices other men look at you, that’s a good thing.
You have to pull out all the stops when you’re at this stage, so cancel appointments if you need to and be available when he is.
Don’t be needy with his time though. He needs to think you have our own life to lead. It’s a balance you need to judge, by how he behaves when you see him.
3. Be careful with any shady tactics
You probably want to do everything in your power to make things awkward for the other woman in every way. Be careful not to take it too far.
If you start being vindictive and nasty, your man may start changing his opinion about you. No man wants the obsessive crazy to be their partner.
Feel free to schedule dates that clash with the other woman. Especially if you plan something you know he likes to do, so he chooses the date with you.
You may also want to make him jealous. If he sees other men want you, he may take steps to make sure you’re his. This can backfire if you don’t do it right.
If you find something out about her that’s negative, you could use it to your advantage. Just don’t end up making him feel sorry for her.
As you can see, you’re in a game here where you need to tread carefully. If you’re going to manipulate him and the situation, you need to be subtle.
4. Ignore the doubters.
You’re going to get friends and family try to convince you to leave this man and say you deserve better. They want you to find someone who wants you exclusively.
If you’ve got your heart set on this man and you think he’s right for you, then ignore them. They mean well and as long as you don’t sell yourself short, you fight the battle.
It’s not going to last forever and that’s what they’re worried about. You just want him to make his choice and then you can go from there.
Don’t let anyone convince you to let your guard down. Make it your mission to get him if he’s worth it. People always hear rumors and they’re not always true.
Other people always think they know better looking in. As long as you set a time limit for your man to choose and stick to it, your close friends will stick by you.
5. Let him know what he means to you
You often get advice saying to play it cool and while that’s a good thing. He needs to know if you love him, especially when he’s near to making his choice.
You will feel nothing but regret if you don’t put your love on the line at some point. You never want to feel what could have been.
If he’s a real man, a woman telling him how she feels will make him feel good. He’ll know where he stands with you and he has no doubt.
If the other woman is playing hard to get and won’t express her feelings. It’s not going to draw him to her. He wants someone who loves him and tells him so.
You don’t need to declare your love every time you see him. But it needs to be clear and he needs to know how you feel.
6. Talk about the future
When the time is right, find out what he wants in his life. This is good for you and him so you can both be on the same page.
If he never wants children and you do, then you know he’s not worth pursuing after all. A man worth his salt will know want he wants in life.
You can use this technique to see where you stand compared to the other woman. If he talks about future events and you’re included, then you’re winning.
If he never talks about anything worthwhile when you’re with him, then he may be undecided about you and the other woman. That or he just wants to enjoy what he currently has with you both.
You need to find out what sort of commitment you can expect from him. Just don’t scare him off with dreams of multiple children and a retirement plan.
7. Make him feel like it’s his decision
No matter what you’ve done to influence him, you want him to feel you had little to do with his final decision. It was all down to him.
If he feels coerced, then any relationship you have as a result is doomed from the start. Don’t tell him how you’ll feel if he rejects you.
Don’t tell him it will be the end of your world if he chooses the other woman. He needs to know he can be comfortable in choosing you.
He’s got a big decision to make that could affect him for the rest of his life. Give him the space to choose if he needs it.
The other woman will be doing all she can to persuade your man to choose her. In this case, it really is down to him and you can only do so much.
8. Don’t confront her & stay high value
No matter how you feel about the other woman. You don’t want an argument between you, it’s not classy at all.
You see on television channels women coming to blows verbally and physically over their man. But no man is worth it.
It’s not impressive and turns you both into an object of ridicule. Two women fighting over a man doesn’t get you anywhere and it’s embarrassing.
All it does is impress his friends while they get their phones out to film the encounter and laugh at you both. Stay high value and avoid confrontation.
You may feel utter hatred for her and want her out of his life physically. But confronting her is not the way to do it.
If she confronts you and your man is there, then look to him for protection from this crazy woman. Because that’s exactly how she’ll look, crazy.
9. Don’t play games
Don’t play games with your man. Don’t play hard to get one minute and all into him the next.
Avoid missing calls on purpose or leaving it a few days to text him back. Some people recommend this tactic, but it makes you look uninterested.
Be you and don’t pretend to be anyone else. If you’re unhappy with him, let him know. Don’t pretend everything is ok. He’ll appreciate the honesty.
Don’t try to be everything the other woman is not. You don’t know her or what she’s really like, so you’re better just being yourself.
You want him to choose you for who you are. You don’t want him to regret his choice when he sees you’re a totally different person.
10. Keep living your life
You’re only dating him and you don’t live together, so keep living your life. Post it on social media so he can see.
This makes you look good in his eyes, as you’re an independent woman. That’s desirable and something to be respected.
Do new things and go out with friends. This is good for you, so your life doesn’t revolve around this undecided man.
By doing this, you maintain your confidence and self esteem which makes you more attractive. Your man will notice this.
The other woman is probably worrying about everything you’re doing, while you’re living life and enjoying yourself. It sounds much better, doesn’t it?
Don’t accept being second best
The purpose of this article is to get you to be the chosen one. I’ve said it before but give him a time limit. Don’t be the other woman for too long.
He may like it that way, but it’s not good for you. If, after everything you’ve done, he’s chosen the other woman. Then you must walk away.
Don’t continue a relationship as the woman on the side. You may still love him and it’s hard, but it’s better for you long run to find someone else.
You need to find someone who is available to give you 100%. Stop seeing this man if he’s not picked you, even if he still wants to see you.
I hear of women who see attached men for years hoping they’ll choose them but they never do. They just waste years of their life for a man who uses them.
I’ve met one woman who’s man eventually married the other woman. She was 32 years old and was still seeing him 10 years later.
This woman wanted children and wasted her child bearing years on a man who was unavailable to her. All in the name of love. Don’t be that woman.
So you want a man who can’t decide which woman he wants to be with. He’s playing you against each other and getting the best of both worlds.
If you love him, then see if you can get him to choose you. Follow my 10 steps above and you will have done everything you can to make it happen.
They are proven techniques that will make any man come to the decision by himself, with your encouragement, to choose you over the other woman.
If he still doesn’t want you, then it wasn’t meant to be. Walk away like the high value woman you are and be thankful. An undecided man is not an appealing man in the first place.
Hopefully, you’ve carried on living your life like I’ve recommended and you may have met someone else already. Try not to get caught up in a three way affair in future.
Whatever the outcome, put it down to experience. If you got your man, enjoy your life and whatever the future holds. If not, you’ve learned a valuable life lesson.