Is My Husband Pushing Me Away? (7 Signs To Look For)

Unhappy couple

Do you feel your husband is pushing you away? Is he behaving differently or becoming distant?

Here are the signs to look for, the reasons he may be doing this and what you can do to get him back.

Is my husband pushing me away?

When husbands push wives away, there are certain signs to look for. If he’s lost interest in you and doesn’t communicate, then it will take a lot of effort to get him back. This may be what’s needed to save the marriage.

When a husband does this, it’s not only the wife that’s affected. The whole family is, and this is worse if there are children involved.

They may pick up on signs that not everything is happy in the household. Children can feel this at a very young age and it can give them anxiety.

7 Signs your husband is pushing you away

Some of these will be obvious and some less so. All of these you need to look out for and do something if you notice them.

1. He doesn’t talk to you

He used to tell you anything and everything and you’ve noticed he doesn’t now. He used to share his opinion about things.

He enjoyed sharing his day with you and maybe this just doesn’t happen anymore. You may not have noticed it at first.

If a husband gets home and sits in front of the TV and says little to you except necessary talk, then he’s pushing you away.

When someone doesn’t care anymore, then what he does or thinks, he may feel is not really any of your business.

This is important and the key is not to allow it to continue. Don’t just assume he doesn’t feel like talking one day, make sure you pick up on it and do something about it.

Talk to him whether he likes it or not. Engage him in conversation to remind him that you do get on and enjoy each other’s company.

2. He’s always out or alone in the house

If he does this, it’s clearly a case of not wanting to spend time with you. He may not be actively pushing you away but it’s having the same effect.

Maybe he goes out to the bar with friends after work or he’s found a new hobby. He just never seems to find time that involves you.

This is the same in the house. If he’s on the internet a lot or somewhere else where you’re not around. He’s making himself distant.

Here’s where you’ll have to be proactive. You must insist you do things together and make arrangements he can’t turn down.

Try to get a sneaky date type night for him to agree to and he’ll soon appreciate what you can offer.

3. He’s not interested in you

He doesn’t ask about you or want to know your opinion on anything. He doesn’t text you or ask where you are.

Even if you’ve been out late he’s doesn’t care where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing. This is a sign he’s pushing you away.

He may be more selfish and only thinks of himself. He’s thinking of his needs and not yours. What you need is not important to him anymore.

When you speak to him, do you get the impression he’s bored with what you have to say? Does he wander off mid conversation?

Getting him interested in you again is a hard one and is connected with love. You need to meet his needs in order for him to start loving you again, then his interest will return.

4. He shows you no affection

This can be horrible to experience if the person you married is no longer being affectionate.

If you don’t even get an acknowledging smile occasionally, then you know things are bad.

Can he make time for other people but when it comes to you he’s always busy? Perhaps he wants to go home quickly when you’re out with him?

Maybe you no longer hug or cuddle when watching TV. Maybe you no longer kiss even before one of you leaves the house.

If you go to bed and he comes up hours later when you’re nearly asleep and says he’s tired when you try to be with him. Then he’s pushing you away.

5. He’s irritable with you

Has he lost any patience when it comes to you. Anything you say or do seems to irritate him in some way. He would stay quiet with anyone else but with you, no.

Remember, this is probably not genuine and that you don’t really irritate him. He is doing this to push you away and for you to get fed up with him.

It’s not your fault if he’s behaving like this and you don’t have to put up with it. It can get you down after a while and it’s really not a nice thing to do.

It makes you feel you have to walk on egg shells. The last thing you should do is try and please him. He’s doing it on purpose.

You may want to confront him and tell him how it makes you feel. He did marry you and can’t be heartless to your feelings.

Talk to friends or an empathetic ear and you’ll see you’re not doing anything wrong. This is all on him and nothing to do with you.

6. He flirts with other women

He may flirt with other women and allow you to flirt with other men and do nothing about it. This is a sign he doesn’t care.

It shows a complete lack of respect if he does this in front of you. The other woman would only feel embarrassment.

Fortunately, not all men do this to push a wife away. It’s an extreme thing to do and is designed to get a reaction.

Maybe he did it slightly before but now he does it more. It’s a change of behavior that makes it a sign to look out for.

Some men are insecure, and this is what they do. Husbands who love and respect their wives don’t do this.

7. He cancels on you

Do you make plans only for your husband to cancel on you? You may not have noticed at first and accepted the excuse. But if it keeps happening, you know there’s something more to it.

Is he always busy or has other plans? This can only go on for so long. After a while it can be like avoiding you altogether.

It’s rude and inconvenient, especially if there’s other people involved. You need to seriously worry if he doesn’t even bother with an excuse.

It’s a pattern of behavior you need to keep an eye on. It’s a sign he’s pushing you away and not a very nice one.

It’s one of the petty and childish things to do to a wife and says more about the husband than it does the wife.

Unhappy couple

6 Reasons husbands do this

You got married so the love and commitment was there at first. A husband doesn’t push their wife away for no reason, so here are what they could be.

1. He doesn’t love you anymore

This is the big one and it can have many reasons in itself why a husband no longer feels the same way about his wife.

Maybe you’re not the same person he married and you changed when the ring got on your finger. You’re no longer the happy go lucky woman he fell in love with.

Maybe you’ve grown apart over the years and you’re now in different places in life.

He may feel emotionally withdrawn from lack of communication. You no longer share your feelings about each other.

If you argue a lot or the husband gets the silent treatment. Perhaps he’s getting fed up with you being defensive or criticising him.

Men don’t like their wife acting like a mother. He’s too old for that kind of treatment.

A mother likes to nag and you could be doing the same. He wants an adult relationship with a lover not one with a mother.

He’s no longer a priority in your life. Maybe you’ve had children and that’s all you seem to care about. Men need attention too, otherwise he’ll push you away.

You must take a step back if you do any of these. Your husband has needs and if they’re not met, he’ll go elsewhere.

2. He’s found another woman

Whether he’s actually been with her may not be the case, but his head has been turned. He’s started enjoying someone else’s company more than his wife.

If he’s not being stimulated at home, he may be tempted to go elsewhere. Don’t think because he’s married he won’t give in to temptation.

If you no longer look after your appearance or you’ve let yourself go. He may no longer feel attracted to you and could be open to someone else.

If he’s finding alternative companionship, he’ll push you away. It may be slow at first but this will soon grow as his relationship with another woman grows.

There are subtle clues you can spot to see if this is the case. If he suddenly makes an effort in his appearance or he becomes very secretive.

You must communicate with him and find out what he’s missing at home. See if there’s something you can do to provide it.

Where ever this other person is, you may have to ask him to get another job or stop going somewhere she may go. Sometimes these steps are needed.

3. There’s no intimacy

If you constantly reject his advances this is going to get him down. In time he’ll think you don’t love him anymore and he’ll slowly feel the same way.

This can be difficult for a wife, especially if you’re busy with work or children. You may have so much on your plate the last thing you want is sex at night, you want sleep.

But a man has needs and if those aren’t being met, he might push you away. No one is forcing you to do anything you don’t want to do, and there are ways to be intimate without having sex.

Get him to help around the house or with the children. Go on dates and realize you are sexual beings who used to have an intimate relationship with each other.

Be more affectionate and flirt with him. A wife knows how to turn her husband on and maybe you need to try this to get him to realize what he has at home.

It’s something you may both need to work on and he needs to know that. Just do it before he starts looking the other way.

4. He has problems

This one may not be your fault but he may have personal problems. If he’s struggling to resolve them, he may push his wife away, especially if he doesn’t share these with her.

He may have an addiction. If he’s drinking alcohol or gambling, this can have a big effect on his life and be a big secret for him.

The worries an addiction can cause can’t be underestimated. They will make him act as though he doesn’t care anymore when in fact he still does.

He doesn’t want you involved in these and will push you away to protect you. Rather than talk to you and get professional help.

He could have problems with his family or friends he doesn’t want to bother you with. Maybe he’s in trouble and it’s eating away at him inside.

A husband who is depressed may push his wife away. He won’t want to but he can’t help but turning off any emotional contact and becoming distant.

The one thing that would help all these problems is communication. If he has problems, you must try and get him to talk to you about them.

You’re a team and he needs to know you’ve got his back. He needs to know you won’t love him any less and how it’s affecting you and your marriage.

5. He has money worries

Debt can tear marriages apart. If he has addictions, they cost money and often a husband uses money he doesn’t have.

If he’s missing payments on credit cards and his credit score is being affected, he may push you away.

Perhaps he’s having problems with his job and it may not last much longer. If he’s going to be out of work, he’s going to have serious money issues.

This is hard for a husband as he feels he should be providing financial security for his wife. If he’s the only one at work in the family, this will stress him even more.

If he’s not telling you the extent of this, he has the whole world on his shoulders. Maybe both of you need to work to maintain the household.

6. The trust has gone

Of course it may not be something he’s done, but something you’ve done. If he has any reason to stop trusting you, he may start pushing you away.

If you’ve lied to him and he’s found out, he’ll trust you less. If this has happened repeatedly, he’ll soon give up on you.

He’ll have all sorts of reasons you may be lying to him and what you’re really doing. Even if it’s something not so important, if he feels he can’t believe you, then you need to work on getting his trust back.

Trust is not something that can be easily regained. Depending on what you’ve done will be a guide on how long it will take, if it ever comes back for him.

If there’s been another man involved, it will hit him hard. He will have many internal questions, none of which you can answer in a way he’ll be happy with.

It will be like starting all over again, and he may wonder if the marriage is worth saving. That’s what trust can do.

How to get your husband back

A marriage is always worth saving. It would have to be pretty bad for both of you to simply walk away how ever many years it’s lasted.

The trouble is that when you’ve realized your husband is pushing you away. Then it’s already got to a critical point for him.

He’s just going through the motions day to day and considering his options. He may have thought about the future and it doesn’t include you.

You need to make him aware of everything he could lose if things turn south. There are so many consequences to a failed marriage and broken home.

You need to get him to agree that you both make an effort to make things work. Make definite plans and take steps to ensure whatever is causing the issue for him. Can be resolved and worked on.

Maybe then, in time, can things return to how they were when you first got together. Not every relationship runs smoothly and you can overcome these problems.

Final thoughts

Think long and hard if you’re right when you think he may be pushing you away. If he is then you need to find out why.

Remember, he may have personal problems that have nothing to do with you he might be ashamed of. He just needs to work through them with you too, if possible.

Nearly everything I’ve said above needs communication to solve. The first and most important sign is when communication breaks down.

The sooner you pick up on these things the better. Don’t turn the other way and hope they’ll disappear. Talk everything through.

Hopefully, this is a one off and you’ll have your husband back soon enough, just know that it’ll take work.

Emma Taylor

I'm a relationship expert with years of experience who's given advice to hundreds of people. I hope you've found some good advice here too.

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