My Husband Can’t Keep A Job (5 Reasons Why & What To Do)


Unhappy couple

If a husband can’t keep a job, it can cause problems like money worries.

Perhaps there are good reasons why he keeps losing jobs. But it doesn’t need to stay that way.

There are things you can do or say to encourage him and I’ll go through them here in this article.

My husband can’t keep a job

First, you need to find out why he can’t keep a job. Your husband needs to know the problems it’s causing and what to do about it. He may need some encouragement to make sure he shares the responsibility of taking care of the home.

Has he always been like this?

What was his job situation when you married him? Maybe he had a good job before and he changed once the ring was on his finger.

Did it change when you started working? Maybe he felt he doesn’t need to work anymore and his attitude changed.

If he’s always been a drifter when it comes to work, did you expect it to change? Not a lot of women can change a man, they usually stay as they are.

Has the responsibility for the household scared him and he’s suddenly become work shy?. Has he been job hopping ever since you’ve known him? And what do his parents say about it?

We want security from a husband but you’re clearly not getting the financial part of it.

How does he feel about his job situation?

Is he aware you’re expecting him to work and bring in some money? Perhaps it gets him down that he can’t keep a job.

Maybe he’s got his head in his clouds and thinks everything will be alright and he’ll get another job soon.

Perhaps he’s become happy staying at home and you’re enabling this behavior. He’s got used to relying on you for money.

He must know he can’t go on like this forever. He must be able to see the affect it’s having on you.

Maybe he has friends he sees during the day, and they’re in the same position. Either way, you know something has to be done.

5 reasons why he can’t hold a job

Maybe he does get jobs regularly but they never seem to last. Perhaps he’s tried self employment, but it didn’t work out either.

Before tackling the problem, here are some reasons why he could be job hopping and not staying with one job.

1. He chooses the wrong job

Maybe he’s not happy with the kind of work he finds. Some people are happy in an office job and some are not.

Some of us think we can always find better. Are there better jobs available but perhaps your husband is no good at interviews?

The job may not be realizing his potential. He’s become bored about doing the same thing over and over.

The money may be no good. He’s worth a lot more than the job he’s doing. He may take a lot of sick days and get fired a lot.

2. Personality issues at work

Does he never get on with his colleagues? Every job involves working with other staff. Some of us don’t like being told what to do.

There’s a lot of gossip and politics in work places. If you can’t handle it or let it go, it could be a toxic atmosphere.

Maybe a supervisor never likes him, and your husband thinks he can do a better job. We all have to get on with people we may not like or agree with.

This is especially true in work. We have to bite our tongue and not say something even if we want to. Perhaps your husband is too outspoken and loses his job.

3. Doesn’t like any job

He works but days or weeks later decides it’s not for him. He’s chosen to leave and find something else.

If this keeps happening, you may start to think he doesn’t like any job and nothing would be suitable.

Perhaps he keeps waiting for the perfect role when it’s just not going to show up. He can’t decide what he wants to do.

This is typical of someone who goes from job to job. They like the look of something but the reality is often very different.

He clearly needs to stick with a job and persevere. He may find a part of it he quite enjoys.

4. Laziness or mood changes

Has he got into the habit of not working after never finding something suitable. Has he got used to being lazy and doing nothing.

Is it better than doing a job he doesn’t like to do nothing at all? All while you’re earning and running around after him.

However, losing every job may actually get him down more than you realize. Has his mood changed?

Does he not keep his job because he’s not happy as he once was and he doesn’t have the motivation anymore?

There are illnesses whose symptoms are laziness and procrastination. These can need specialist help to treat.

Unhappy couple

5. He doesn’t want to start at the bottom

When you get a new job, you may have to start at the bottom of the workforce and work your way up.

He may not think it’s worth going for these types of roles or they don’t last when he does try them.

The salary is usually a lot lower at the bottom of the pyramid and that may put your husband off.

If your husband has managerial experience, he may find it difficult if he can’t find a similar job.

4 ways of helping him

You obviously have to do something. You can’t just let him go from job to job and have no stability in your life where he’s concerned.

Here are some ways to help. He may not like it at first, but you’re doing it for his benefit as well as yours. Every reason not to hold a job has a solution.

1. Discipline

If he can’t keep a job due to his laziness, then he must still get up in the morning like he’s doing a 9 to 5.

Don’t let him lie in bed until lunchtime he must get used to being available and looking for work during the day.

Jobs don’t happen out of thin air and discipline means he gets out and looks for work for a set number of hours a day.

It also means when he gets a job. He must make an effort and stick to it even if he doesn’t like it at first.

2. Change his outlook

He has to know that as a husband he has certain responsibilities. He has these for himself as well as you. Things have to change.

His childhood is gone, adulthood is here, and he’s married. Adults earn a living and he needs to know he must do too.

You have to let him know it’s serious now and we all have to put up with aspects of work we don’t like. But that’s part of a normal working day.

Tell him all the things you can both do if you had more money. If he can see what he’s missing out on it may give him the push he needs.

3. Get him professional help

If he’s unhappy and not the same person you married, perhaps he needs to talk to someone about it.

Maybe there are underlying issues causing him to struggle in employment. He may prefer to talk to someone else and not you about any problems.

If not a therapist or Doctor, why not a life or careers coach? They may see what’s stopping him from progressing and help him get where he wants to be.

Perhaps he can talk to a friend at first just to express how he feels. If the same friend can get him a job, he may feel more obligated to stay with it.

4. An ultimatum

This may be your last resort but sometimes this is what’s needed to get him into gear and get himself work.

What you say to him is up to you, but you need to make it clear that it can’t go on any longer and you’ve heard every excuse.

He needs to know there will be consequences if things don’t change. What they could be is up to you, but make sure it’s something important.

Try to be calm when explaining this to your husband. A shouting match will not get you anywhere if you really want him to do something.

What does the future hold?

Hopefully everything works out well and you get your husband back to the way you want him to be. The future can look bright.

No husband wants to let their wife down by not providing for the family. It may take time but unless you made a mistake in your choice of man, you’ll be ok.

When you’ve tried ways of helping him you need to think about what you can do if things don’t work out. What if you only see money worries on the horizon?

If it’s reached a certain point, you may need to reiterate the ultimatum again and make it stronger this time. You don’t want to lose your respect for him.

Final thoughts

If you’re working and your husband can’t keep a job, it’s not good. If you’re not working and he can’t keep a job, it’s even worse.

First you need to find out from him why he can’t find and keep a job. There could be a number of reasons.

Only by knowing why can you both plan to do something about it. Maybe he needs to change his outlook on work.

He might need to be accept no job is perfect or the colleagues in there. But we all have to get up in the morning and do it.

If he’s unhappy, get him to talk to someone. Do everything you can to change the situation and tell him the benefits of having money.

Hopefully, in time you’ll get your productive husband back and you’ll have a happier life.

Emma Taylor

I'm a relationship expert with years of experience who's given advice to hundreds of people. I hope you've found some good advice here too.

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