Should I Tell A Wife About Their Cheating Husband? (Answered)


One of the rules about every relationship is that you should stay faithful to your partner.

This is even more so for a husband and wife as they’ve made a commitment to each other.

Despite this, a spouse may become tempted and cheat on their significant other.

The sad fact is it happens quite a lot but what do you do if you know about it and no one else does?

Is it the decent thing to let the wife know what the husband is doing? Should you tell her? And if you do, what could happen?

Telling a wife their husband is a cheat

Telling could have serious consequences and affect many people beyond the couple. The wife may already know about their husband cheating and may not want to be reminded. Take plenty of time to think before you make any decision to reveal what you know.

Why do you want to tell the wife?

We all know cheating is wrong and lying is a part of it. There’s something deep inside us that wants to do the right thing.

The first thing we think about is what if we were the other woman? We would be desperate to know if our man was unfaithful and this is how you feel.

For all the time and effort you put into a husband and the union that exists. You’d have to feel pretty strongly to jeopardize it.

Perhaps you see the husband and wife out and about, happy as ever, and little does she know what he does behind her back.

Maybe you see the whole relationship as meaningless and she could do better. Maybe it’s become personal because it’s happened to you.

Before you do anything you need to have a serious think about why you want to tell her and if it’s for the best. Will it really benefit them, or you?

Are you the other woman in this?

One of the biggest reasons to tell the wife what’s going on is because you’re the other woman involved. You’re the one he’s having an affair with.

Some men are very charismatic and can persuade you that the marriage is sexless and loveless. That he’s desperate to leave.

He’s told you he loves you and he’s just waiting for the right time to tell his wife and move on with you.

Maybe you’re hoping to bring this all to a head and instigate what he’s been promising you all along. After all, if what he says is true, it’s what he wants, right?

Sadly men lie, and love is blind. If he cheats he’s already a liar and he’s probably lying to you so you’ll stay with him as his bit on the side.

He’s probably happy with his wife and their life together and has no interest in braking it up for you. You hear of women who’ve been having an affair with a married man for years.

That’s years of your life wasted over a man who will never be yours despite what he says. This is more common than we like to think.

How would you tell her and do you have any proof?

You hear a lot about an anonymous text or a note left on the windshield of a car. If you want to say something you have many methods you can choose from.

You could make a phone call to the wife or arrange to meet for coffee. She’ll definitely be a captive audience, but will she believe you?

Evidence are texts from the husband describing various intimate details or revealing pictures.

Remember, he knows his wife very well, and she loves him. She is likely to believe any excuse he provides. Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

Some women just don’t want to believe their man could cheat or that it could happen to them. We always tend to believe the best in people, especially those we love.

Perhaps she thinks it’s someone who’s jealous and wants to break them up. She’ll be willing to believe anything rather than her husband being a cheat.


Perhaps the wife already knows he’s a cheat

There’s a very common phrase, and that is ignorance is bliss. Maybe she kind of knows what he’s like but would rather turn a blind eye and carry on life as normal.

Maybe she’s been told before, but she’s decided to stay with him.

Relationships are very complicated and she could be having all her needs met. As long as he doesn’t cross some obvious boundaries, she can put up with his behavior.

Maybe the wife has a lot to lose, and she’s willing to put up with it. Maybe she doesn’t love him anymore and stays with him out of convenience.

There could be many reasons why a wife would stick with their husband knowing he’s a cheat. You saying something could make no difference to the relationship at all.

Some women seem to attract unfaithful me,n and the wife may have experienced this before.

Some men cheat and always will

While some women attract the wrong kind of man, some men can’t stop their cheating ways whoever their with.

Some women think they can change a married man and he’ll want to be with them instead of his wife. That he’ll never cheat again. This sadly is rarely true, the cheating just continues.

If the cheating husband does choose to begin a relationship with his new lover. He will likely cheat with her too.

Some men think differently about infidelity than women. They don’t think there is something so wrong with it, it maybe nothing to do with love, which they have for their wife.

These men can’t see or predict the hurt it causes and act on impulse. Some men can distance themselves from the consequences of their actions. There’s more about this on

What do you think the wife is likely to do?

Will she confront him? Even if she know’s what he’s like, to have it put before her in such a way is bound to cause a reaction.

If this is new to the wife, will she attempt to save the relationship? Or is it something she can’t see beyond?

She will be concerned with how this makes her look. She has evidence her husband has cheated and people will look for her reaction, and what she’ll do.

She could behave like a victim, which she is. Or she could become aggressive and lash out as a way of dealing with it.

It also depends on whether the wife knows the woman who was unfaithful with her husband. She could feel a real sense of betrayal if it was a friend.

This is if she believes her husband cheated at all. He might have convinced her it isn’t true. She might not even confront him whatsoever.

How could telling her affect you?

If you tell the wife and you don’t know her, you might hear the outcome from someone who does know them. Whether it’s good or bad or if nothing has happened at all.

If you’re a concerned friend who told all. The wife might not think very positively toward you for telling her.

If she stays with her husband, she might want nothing to do with you ever again. After all, you, while not personally, have tried to break up her and her husband.

If you’re in a circle of friends with her, you could very well be ostracized from the group. You may have had the best intentions but it’s not something people like to hear.

Or, the wife may feel you’ve saved her from a lifetime of hurt and be grateful. Whatever the case you’ll have a lot of talking to do to justify your actions.

If you’re the other woman, you could get labeled a home wrecker if word gets around. Either way, you would have initiated the very thing you wanted to happen all along.

That’s for everything to get out in the open and the husband to choose between his wife and you. Be prepared to be disappointed or not, at least you’ll not be wasting anymore time one way or another.

Final thoughts

Do you feel you have to say something? Do you feel you can’t live with yourself if you don’t? Are your reasons to make the wife feel better? Or you?

Think long and hard about the consequences. It could change a lot of lives. Things may have been going along very nicely until this comes out.

The wife may have known all along that something was going on. She didn’t need to have it shoved in her face for her to deal with.

If the news is a shock, it could take a long time for her to recover and feel trust again. All because you felt the need to tell her about her husband.

No one can properly advise you unless they’re in the situation. Even then you’ll never know how people are going to react.

Whatever you choose to do, it’s not something to take lightly. So I advise you to take plenty of time to think about it before making your decision.

Emma Taylor

I'm a relationship expert with years of experience who's given advice to hundreds of people. I hope you've found some good advice here too.

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