Ignoring someone after an argument is not the best way of dealing with it.
Don’t put up with it if he does this every time. He needs to resolve arguments in a different way.
I have 5 tips that work for reaching out if your guy is doing this.
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How he’s dealing with the argument
Some people deal with arguments amicably and some don’t. Some deal with it by ignoring their partner.
It may not bother some guys and they talk about their feelings as they go. When you’re in a relationship, an argument can have a special effect on you.
Your guy is seeing the only solution is to ignore you. This is not a way of moving forward. It doesn’t resolve the argument at all.
By ignoring you it means he’s still bothered by the argument and is trying to punish you for it. Sometimes this can last for hours, sometimes days and even weeks.
It’s actually an immature thing to do and displays a lack of emotional and social intelligence. Perhaps he feels he’s done nothing wrong and wants you to admit your wrongdoing.
He refuses to talk until you apologize or make it up to him. Maybe he saw the same behavior in his parents when he was growing up.
Instead of them resolving a disagreement, they would go silent. He knows no better and repeats this strategy as he’s got older.
Typical behavior of a guy ignoring you
The classic one is giving you the silent treatment. Where he would normally talk, he doesn’t. Where he would normally reply to you, he doesn’t.
Perhaps he’s not even acknowledging your presence. He’s acting like you don’t exist. This can happen in all kinds of relationships, but especially in romantic ones.
If you live apart, then he might go no contact on you. He’ll ignore your attempts at calling or texting. He won’t respond to you on social media.
If you live together, then ignoring you becomes more advanced and difficult to do. He’s somehow got to become more distant to you, despite bumping into each other all the time.
There could be silence as you eat your meals or watch television. Perhaps when you’re with friends, you both pretend everything is ok, but the argument hasn’t been resolved and he goes quiet again.
How it makes you feel
At first you might feel angry, after all, you’ve just had an argument. You may want to ignore him back or do something more proactive.
If you’re not the sort to get angry and are more sensitive, it might really bother you. It might hurt quite deeply on a personal level.
It could be like he’s disappeared where you’re concerned. You may wonder if he still loves you or even cares.
The lack of attention and acknowledgement can get you down. You have to try and disregard what he’s trying to do with his behavior and get on with your life.
When it’s someone you love it’s difficult to do. It does hurt, but he probably doesn’t know how much. If he did, he wouldn’t do it.
How long you have to wait
As I said before, if he’s determined it could take several weeks of him ignoring you to some degree. It will get to the point where someone will have to say something.
It’s like a Mexican stand off where one of you has to back down. He’s the one ignoring you and he probably feels in the right to do so.
You’re going to have to accept you may be wrong in the argument. Even if you weren’t. But for the sake of harmony and to end the stalemate.
If you can somehow both agree you did things wrong, then you can get over the hours, days or weeks of silence. Then you can both come out of it with your heads held high.
Try and do this sooner or later. If you have regular periods of silence between you, then you need to think about the relationship as a whole.
5 Tips for reaching out after an argument
This is all about you making the effort. You may not want to after an argument, but if he’s ignoring you, it’s for the best.
1. Use humor
You don’t have to tell him a joke, but if something funny has happened, it can break the animosity that’s in the air.
You know your boyfriend’s sense of humor so use it. Set him up to say something that will make you laugh and he’ll feel better.
This won’t solve the argument, but humor will get you talking again. It’s a way of stopping the cycle of him ignoring you.
2. Take responsibility
If an argument has occurred, there will be two sides to it. You need to take responsibility for your side.
Let him know what you were thinking and how you feel. Don’t blame or judge him. Just get some acceptance out there that you thought you were right.
After this, let him speak and listen to him. Let him explain his side of things. This should be done immediately after you’ve both calmed down and before the ignoring really starts.
3. Be humble
You may have to take blame for the greater good of the relationship. You may have to accept you were wrong and he is right. This is probably what he really wants to hear.
By being humble, you’re putting away your ego. You’re letting him win and he’s having the last word.
You may not agree with what you’re doing and saying in your mind. But some men like to think they’re right about everything and you’re letting that happen in this case.
This one is difficult. You’re not letting him walk all over you. You’re just verbally letting him have this one.
4. Make it right
You’ve taken responsibility and you’ve been humble. Now you may need to make right whatever caused the argument in the first place.
Sometimes the ignoring won’t stop until you physically do what you promised. Even if it means changing your mind, just do it.
You may need to make it up to him. Treat him to something unexpected and he’ll soon stop behaving you as though you don’t exist.
5. Talk it through
I mean this more than just talking the argument through. You need to talk about ways of dealing with arguments in the future.
You still love each other so you must find ways of resolving disputes without resorting to vindictive measures. Emotionally hurting is not the way to go about it.
Find a time and place when you can have this serious conversation. Your relationship may depend on it.
Don’t allow it to continue
Ignoring you occasionally is not the right way to deal with problems. Don’t allow him to make a habit of it.
If it’s a new relationship, then you could see it as a sign of things to come. You’re dating a man who has unconventional ways of dealing with his feelings.
Put him on notice in your mind and to his face. You must let him know that if he’s going to date you, he must find other ways of resolving arguments.
His way of dealing with an argument is by punishing you afterwards. That’s what he’s doing by ignoring you.
How long it goes on for is important. If it’s for days or even longer, that should bring up red flags about him to you.
When the silent treatment goes too far
There’s a lot of debate about silent treatment in psychology. What is it and the affect it has on the person.
There’s ignoring someone and then there’s giving someone the silent treatment. Both are bad and even worse when you live with that person.
Some call it a form of control and say it has lasting effects on the person it’s being done to. They say it’s manipulation.
If it’s being done to you, think about how it makes you feel and how you feel about your partner. Has it always happened or is it something new?
Always reach out to other people and don’t bottle it up inside of you. There are organizations that can help if it bothers you.
When a guy ignores you after an argument, use my tips for reaching out to him. It may take both of you to resolve the argument.
There are all kinds of way a guy can ignore you. They can all affect you and you don’t have to put up with it.
If it’s someone you’re dating, think about his way of treating you. Do you want to continue a relationship with someone like that?
If he’s an argumentative type, you could be having to tread carefully whenever something could irritate him. That’s not a good way to live.
If you really like him and he’s a genuinely good person. Then maybe you can get past the odd reaction after an argument. But not too often.