Asking a girl to be your girlfriend is a big step in a new relationship.
You need to wait until you know her really well and feel a deep connection with her.
You don’t want to ask too soon or leave it too long or you may not get the answer you want.
Here I discuss how long you should wait and when the time is right.
When to ask her
If you’re getting on well and she’s giving the right signals that she likes you too. Then after several dates and a month or two. It may be the right time to ask her to be your girlfriend. If she says yes, then you’re officially boyfriend and girlfriend.
Table of Contents
Having a girlfriend is a big part of life
Asking a girl to be your girlfriend is a rite of passage and something we all go through. It’s something we feel very nervous about the first time we ask.
Girls start to appeal to us from an early age and we want to know if a special someone feels the same as we do. One way of doing this is by asking if you’re boyfriend and girlfriend.
It’s a confirmation that she likes us too and shows a level of commitment. It’s taking a relationship with a girl we like to the next level.
After the first time you ask a girl, it becomes easier in the future. You get to know when the answer is likely to be yes and you feel more confident.
Sometimes you don’t need to ask. She may assume you’re already an item. The first confirmation you’ll get is if she introduces you as her boyfriend.
When shall I ask?
We often fear rejection and this can influence when we ask. Being turned down can affect us in a big way and destroy our self esteem.
It’s something you shouldn’t rush into. You need to get to know the girl well. Then you can make a decision to ask if she’ll be your girlfriend.
You should ask when you feel romantic towards the girl. Hopefully, the girl will be expecting it and will have been wanting you to ask.
You should have gone on several dates before asking. This could be over several weeks or a month depending how often you’ve seen each other.
If after a month you don’t know where you stand and you’d like to know. Then ask her if she’ll be your girlfriend.
She’ll be flattered you’ve asked and you’ll get your answer. Your relationship is then official if she says yes.
Don’t leave it too long
She may be wanting you to ask for confirmation just like you. She wants to know if you feel the same way about her and want to be an item.
If you don’t say something, she might start losing interest. She may want a boyfriend who will take things further and if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
She may have a few boys she likes. If you leave it too long, someone else might ask her and you’ll have missed your chance.
Women like a man who knows what he wants. This is true at any age. By asking, you’re being assertive and a bit of a risk taker. These are appealing traits.
So don’t leave it too long to ask. If you want to win her heart, you have to put yourself out there and let her know how you feel and what you want.
You’ve got nothing to lose
She may say yes and she may say no. If it’s yes, you’ll be delighted and you’ve got yourself a girlfriend. You’ll be able to get together and enjoy each other’s company.
If she says no, you’ll be disappointed. But this will last for a few days only. You will have earned the respect of your friends for putting yourself out there.
You may have asked too soon and she wasn’t ready. Over time, you’ll get better at this. There are plenty of other girls out there who will only be too pleased to be your girlfriend.
Hold your head up high and don’t take it personally. Don’t treat her badly for it either. Some girls aren’t ready for relationships.
You don’t get anywhere in life if you don’t make a move in whatever you want to do. No one remembers second place, only the winners matter.
5 Signs she’s ready to be your girlfriend
Rather than ask too soon and get rejected. It may be worth seeing if she’s showing the following signals that she’ll be open to the question.
1. Is she affectionate?
Does she touch you frequently after being on several dates? Does she hold hands with you occasionally?
These are good signs and shows she may feel you are boyfriend and girlfriend already. You may still want to ask so you know for sure.
If she’s affectionate with you and not like that with other people. Then she sees you as someone special in her life.
2. Have you met her family and friends?
Her asking you to meet her family is a very good sign. She probably wants their approval and verdict on you.
If the meeting goes well, then she’ll definitely be ready to consider you as someone more permanent in her life.
It’s natural as we get to know someone we like in a romantic way, to introduce them to people we feel are important to us.
3. Do you talk a lot?
It’s always a good sign if you have a lot to say to each other. Does she ask you lots of questions and is interested in you as a person?
Is she’s interested in you where ex girlfriends are concerned. Does she share information about herself freely? Is there a nice back and forth communication going on whenever you meet?
Relationships are all about how you get on with each other as people. If you both have a lot to say and make one another laugh, you’re onto a good thing.
4. Does she rely on you?
If something has happened, does she want your opinion on it? Are you the first person she calls to say something about her life?
Is she supportive of you and you of her? Can you connect deeply and rely on each other? Do you feel you could both tell each other anything about yourselves?
The big one is if she’s ever discussed the future. If she’s making plans with you in it, then you’re nearly boyfriend and girlfriend already.
5. Does she remember things about you?
Does she remember what you’ve said previously? Or does she comment on something you did fondly?
Someone who likes you deeply will think about you even when you’re not together. She’ll give you evidence of this without her realizing it.
If you get the impression she looks forward to seeing you, then you’re in a great place to ask if she’ll be your girlfriend.
5 Reasons when it’s a good time to ask
This one is more about you and how you feel about the relationship. Tick any of these boxes and it’ll be a good time to ask her to be your girlfriend.
1. You get on well
Some personalities just go together. You just gel with her and you have the same values.
Your friends may have noticed how well you get on. Maybe you have little jokes only the pair of you understand.
The way you get on with someone is what makes a romantic relationship different from a friend. If you’re on this level, it’s a good time to get clarification.
2. You’ve spent a lot of time together
Time is very precious to all of us. We’re very particular about who we spend it with. If you spend it with each other, then you may want to take things to the next level.
Have you both got your phone numbers on speed dial? Is there a special name for her on your phone?
After a while, becoming boyfriend and girlfriend is a natural progression if you spend so much time together anyway.
3. You see a future with her
Do you make arrangements to be with her? Do you want her to be there when you do something? Do you see your future with her in it and you like the thought of it?
Have you ever spoken to her about what your plans are in life? Has she listened and told you what she wants out of life? These are not things you talk about with just anyone.
Do you like her being by your side and would like her to be there permanently? The only way to make this happen is by asking her to take the next step in your relationship.
4. You want to be exclusive
We sometimes go on dates with a few people while we decide who we want to make a go of it with. Perhaps you’ve done that and this girl is who you want to be your girlfriend.
You want to be exclusive with her and you want her to be exclusive with you. The way to make it happen is by making yourselves official.
It has to be something you both really want and your dates will help you decide. You feel a certain way and you want the commitment from her as well.
5. You have a lot in common
Having a personality where you seem to get on and talk for hours is one thing. If you share the same values and have the same aims, then you’re a good match.
When you have the same beliefs, interests and attitudes. You have something together that could last for years.
It’s something you should go out of your way to ensure you keep. Asking a girl you have this with to be your girlfriend should be an automatic decision.
5 Ways to ask her to be your girlfriend
You can either make it a big deal and see it as something special. Or it can be a personal agreement you share privately with each other.
1. Choose the right words
Make it personal to you and ask in a way you know she would appreciate. Don’t say it flippantly while handing her bag, for example.
Say it to her and make it clear about what you’re asking. You know her best, so make it something she would really like to hear.
Get her attention totally so she knows what you’re about to say is important to you. Look her directly in the eyes when you ask.
2. Be confident
This might be easier said than done and you can practise in the mirror if you need to. You want to get what you have to say across so there can be no misunderstanding.
Say it somewhere you feel comfortable and safe. Somewhere you both enjoy being. When the time is right, you’ll know.
Don’t do it in front of people, you don’t need to declare your love. Something personal to you both will work perfectly.
3. Do it face to face
Texting and emails are great for communication. But not for something like this. Whatever you do, make sure you say it to her face.
You’ll be able to enjoy her reaction and she’ll be able to see how much she means to you. It’ll make it more special.
You may naturally want to make physical contact and gaze into her eyes. You may want to hold her hand as you ask.
4. Choose the right time
You’ve established the time is right and you’re both ready. You feel the step is there to take, now just to choose the right time.
Take her out for a special meal or do something you both enjoy as a couple. Then she’ll be receptive to what you have to say.
Do it when you’re both sitting down and nothing can distract you from the moment. Make sure she’s paying attention to you.
5. Make it personal
If you’re not one for grand gestures, she probably knows that. She wouldn’t expect you to make an evening out of asking her to be your girlfriend.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask her at all. Make her feel special in your own way and tell her how you feel.
You could even buy her a gift as some sort of memento of the occasion. Anything that means it came from the heart and has your stamp on it is what we’re after.
It’s a tricky choice when to ask a girl to be your girlfriend. You don’t want to do it too soon and you don’t want to do it too late.
Therefore, the best way to go about it is to use your judgment. Think about how well you know each other and how well you’re getting on.
If the relationship is going well and you get the impression you’re both exclusive. Maybe you’ve been on many dates and you have a lot in common.
Then it may be a good idea to ask the question. It’s important to ask if you don’t know where you stand and you’ve been seeing each other for a while.
Whatever she says, take it like a man and respect her wishes. Whether it’s what you want to hear or not. You know where you stand and you can get on with your life.