Why Do Wives Doubt Their Husbands? (Explained)


Unhappy couple

It can be quite common for a wife to have a lingering doubt that their husband is always telling the truth.

It can be a subtle suspicion or outright proof he’s been lying.

If something is not done about this it can cause bickering and arguments.

Ultimately, it’s not healthy for either of them. In this article I look at reasons for the doubt and what can be done about it.

5 Reasons a husband is doubted by their wife

It’s not good for the marriage and below could be one of the reasons for it.

1. He’s been lying

If the husband has been caught lying by his wife. She’s going to be increasingly doubtful about what he says and does in the future.

These may be little untruths but they add up over time. The wife may believe these things at first but small doubts play into his mind.

It doesn’t matter what he lies about, it could be the smallest thing. But every time it has a significant impact on what the wife thinks of him.

A marriage is affected if one party can not be depended upon to tell the truth. There are many signs of a husband lying and a wife instinctively knows when he’s doing them.

She may disregard the odd untruth if it’s about something insignificant. But if it happens a lot, she’ll want to know why.

2. He’s been hiding things

There could be signs that a husband has been hiding what is being said through his phone. He may suddenly be secretive about who’s calling and what they’re saying.

This is a big deal and one of the most obvious things something is going on that the husband doesn’t want his wife to know.

Perhaps money has been going out of a joint bank account and the wife doesn’t know anything about it. Unless there’s a good explanation, the seeds of doubt will be planted.

He may be spending a lot of time on his laptop and he closes it whenever his wife enters the room. She doesn’t know what he’s hiding, but he’s definitely hiding something.

3. His behavior changes

A wife knows her husband better than anyone else. She’ll be very aware of any subtle changes in him and his behavior and what they could mean.

If his behavior changes, the first thing a wife may think is he’s cheating. This may not be the case yet, he may just be trying to impress someone.

He may be trying to impress a new set of friends or he’s reached a certain age which has given him a change of view. All of these things would still make a wife doubt him.

Anything like mood swings can mean something is going on in his life and if he doesn’t share that with his wife. She’s going to be concerned.

4. Lack of trust

if there’s been infidelity of any kind then the trust is going to take serious work to rebuild. The wife will have doubts about everything the husband says or does.

Anything out of the normal will require a deep explanation to ease the wife’s thoughts. Anything from being late from work to someone he doesn’t know phoning needs explaining.

Doubt and suspicion will be part of the wife’s normal day. Some marriages never survive the ultimate betrayal and major steps need to be undertaken if it is.

Of course a lack of trust isn’t always about cheating. If the lies get out of hand and the wife can’t believe anything the husband says, then there will be an inherent doubt.

5. She feels insecure

It’s not always the husband’s doing. It could be the wife’s own issues that’s causing her doubt. Maybe something has happened to her recently to make her feel insecure.

Maybe she doesn’t feel she’s enough for her husband. There could be many life experiences which could make her feel less desirable. Perhaps she’s put on weight, had a baby, or is feeling her age.

Maybe the husband doesn’t tell her how he feels. She doesn’t feel she loves him or wants her. This makes her feel insecure and doubt that her husband is happy with her.

Marriage is an ever changing dynamic with both spouses going through their own lives. It can take the slightest of circumstances for one to doubt the other.

Unhappy couple

5 Ways to make it right

Don’t let doubt fester in the relationship. These steps will help you get rid of it.

1. Don’t accuse

No matter what doubt a wife may have about her husband, she shouldn’t accuse him of things without evidence. It’s easily done if you think he’s been lying.

It doesn’t help the marriage if one spouse starts making accusations. It’s like a blame game and when there’s no trust, it tends to descend into arguments.

The husband is left wondering what he’s supposed to have done wrong, if he’s done nothing to deserve it in his eyes. He’ll view it negatively.

There are ways of bringing up any concerns if you have any. Being calm is the way to go and listen to what he has to say.

2. Be open and honest

Talk to him about what’s worrying you as he may have innocent explanations. It’s best to do this as soon as you have any doubts to prevent them from growing in your mind.

Be open and honest with him in general and he should be the same to you. This is what marriage is about and explain this to him if you have any doubts.

If you have good reason for your doubts like previous lying, this makes the truth even more important. A husband should go out of his way to ensure he can be believed.

It doesn’t bode well when any spouse has to be reminded to be open and honest with one another. But if the relationship has fallen on hard times, it might be needed.

3. Respect each other

Any lying or untruths need to stop and you both need to respect each other. This can often dwindle in a marriage if you allow it to.

If the wife thinks the husband isn’t sincere in what he says. She should take a step back and remember that she should respect the vows of marriage.

To remove any doubts, they almost need to start again and figure out why they loved each other in the first place.

Even if there’s no reason for the doubt, something must be done to stop it entering her mind. It’s not healthy for her or the marriage.

4. Talk it over

Communication is one of the first things to go in a marriage. You both live your lives in a more sperate way and forget how to communicate properly with each other.

The wife feels this way for a reason and it’s only by talking about it, can it be stopped. Talk and listen to everything you both have to say to get to the issue.

There could be incorrect assumptions the wife is making and encouraging actions the husband is doing. Get it all out in the open to clarify how you both feel.

The husband may feel he isn’t trusted and he can’t say or do anything right. Don’t let any doubt rule what you say and do by talking it through first.

5. Get over it

After a while you have to think of whether the doubt is justified. If it isn’t then get over it and move on with your life. Life is too short to keep worrying about something unnecessarily.

If the doubts are proven and he has been lying or deceiving you in any way. If you’ve talked it over and have made a commitment to do something about it. Then you must move on.

If you’ve always doubted your husband as he’s always been a little loose with the truth. Then you can’t hold it against him because you married him knowing what he’s like.

Some men are players and their wives don’t know what to believe. If you have a man like that, you must have known he was never going to change.

Final thoughts

Not all wives doubt their husbands, but some do. It’s often the fault of the husband for her feeling that way. If he was truthful, open and honest, she would feel more secure.

Doubt can cause bickering and accusations which aren’t healthy for the marriage. She feels he’s hiding something and he feels whatever he does is pounced upon.

It’s both spouses that need to work on making each other feel happy in their marriage by talking more. Treat each other with more respect and remember how they felt when they first met.

If your husband has given you good reason to doubt him and it’s now in the past. Ensure it stays there and don’t let it keep bothering you if you choose to stay with him.

Emma Taylor

I'm a relationship expert with years of experience who's given advice to hundreds of people. I hope you've found some good advice here too.

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