It is more common than you think for a husband to feel this way.
It can have a detrimental effect on the husband and the relationship.
If you spot this happening in your marriage, you should do something about it.
In this article I look at what men are afraid of, the consequences of doing nothing about it, and what men should do.
Table of Contents
7 Things men are afraid of in their wives
These are things that can bring out unnecessary anxiety in men.
1. Her anger
Men are used to controlling their emotions whereas women express themselves more freely. If their wife is angry, she’ll express it often towards the husband.
There is a phrase of “happy wife, happy life” and this perfectly describes the dynamic many marriages have. When the wife is angry, it brings the whole family on edge.
The husband will often cower into a corner and go quiet. He often doesn’t even say anything to try and ease her anger. He just lets it play its course.
Men aren’t used to anger from women and this is taught from a very young age. An angry woman is something significant, whereas an angry man is in not.
2. Her disapproval
Men are scared of their wife’s disapproval. This is tied in with anger and shows husbands will do anything to make sure their wife is happy. Happy with what the husband has done or said.
This is especially the case when she has asked him to do something. He may be nervous to make sure he get’s it right or face his wife’s wrath.
Women need to be careful of constant disapproval of what their husband says or does. It can soon have an effect on how he feels about her and whether he’s happy in the marriage.
Men have an innate dislike of authority figures and a wife can soon exhibit these behaviors. There’s a difference between disapproval and disappointment.
3. Her emotional superiority
Women are used to expressing their emotions far more than men. Men bottle things up and in this case, they’re scared of this advantage their wife has.
Social research has concluded that women are more emotionally sensitive than men. They call this “emotional intelligence”.
Women are able to have more empathy and perceive emotional cues better than men. The husband will often stand back and allow the woman to make a decision where these qualities are needed.
This doesn’t make women better than men as such, just different. Men are aware of this and it can make them afraid of their wife and the advantage they have.
4. The responsibility he feels for her
Men feel very responsible for their wife’s happiness and this can be a source of anxiety for them. The love they feel can be all encompassing and make them aware of how their wife feels.
A husband will do everything he can to make sure his wife is ok. He will instinctively know if there are any problems she may have by the way she is.
It’s difficult to say when in the relationship this phenomenon happens. Marriage and children may definitely be a turning point. But for it to cause fear in the husband is significant.
It’s not something we learn as we grow up. It’s something that only happens between a man and a woman in a very close relationship.
5. She makes the decisions
While the husband may think he controls the finances and he may certainly earn the money. But it’s the wife who makes most of the decisions.
This is especially the case with major decisions. The husband will hold back and he’s used to doing that. He’s learn to do this over time.
This is not something the husband will appreciate. He decides where to eat out or the TV show to watch but where the child goes to school is up to the wife.
There’s often no question as to how this situation in the marriage goes. This is not fair and could make the husband feel left out.
6. Her control
Some wives like to be in control of everything. Perhaps they think they know better than their husbands and they end up feeling afraid of them.
This is more than just the decision making. It’s like a mother and son relationship with some marriages. The wife organizes everything while the husband follows along.
This happens slowly but definitely where the husband gradually submits to his wife’s demands. In the end, he loses her respect and those around him.
Something a controlling wife will often do is criticize and complain. The husband may feel he can’t do anything right and this makes him nervous around her.
7. He feels inadequate
The husband may not feel he is enough for his wife. He may do all he can in his marriage, but he may feel emotionally inferior.
She has needs in many ways and they are not being met by her husband. He may have tried before but had been rejected.
She married him, yet there is not the balance there should be between them. The wife may have grown over time while the husband hasn’t and he’s left emotionally smaller.
This is not good if there are children to witness their father like this with their mother. They both need to work to redress the balance in the relationship.
How the wife behaves
If the wife notices her husband starting to be scared of her, she may take advantage of it. She may start manipulating him, which makes everything worse as far as he feels.
Everything I’ve listed above that makes him afraid of her may be exaggerated. She may exert more control and express her anger more freely.
She may start taking him for granted. She may stop seeking his advice and ignoring what he says. She’ll increasingly make more decisions for the family by herself.
The romance and intimacy will disappear from the marriage as communication breaks down. He will no longer be seen as someone significant in her eyes.
This is all very possible if the husband is afraid and allows that emotion to continue. They will start to lead separate lives if he’s not involved.
What the husband should do
He needs to be assertive and not allow these feelings of anxiety to take over. They’re not rational and don’t do him any good.
He needs to make sure his opinion is listened to and acted upon. There are two people in a marriage and he needs to make sure his wife knows that.
He needs to let her know that she doesn’t know best all the time. He counts just as much as her.
He must make sure he takes a front seat when it comes to decision making, especially when there are children involved. He has a life experience to contribute.
Ultimately he needs to sit his wife down and explain what’s going on in his head, and tell her that it can’t continue. He should do this for his own happiness and the longevity of the marriage.
It’s surprising how common it is for a husband to be afraid of his wife. It may not always affect the marriage much, but it’s something he doesn’t need to feel.
The corresponding behavior from the wife is something a husband needs to look out for. It can develop over time.
It may be a source of amusement between him and his friends. But it’s not something he should allow to continue.
The husband should be assertive with his wife and not let her dictate what happens in the relationship. Marriage is a two way street.
For the sake of harmony and a healthy marriage. And to prevent any children being influenced by observing this behavior. It needs to be stopped in its tracks.