You had love before and now it’s gone. You feel hopeless and wonder if you’ll ever feel that way again.
What you need to do is get over your previous love, know the reasons why you’ll love again and find ways of making it happen.
It won’t happen overnight. But by following the advice here, you’ll get closer to finding someone special.
30 Steps to finding love again
If you go through these 30 steps, you’ll see that although you loved once and it may have been the best. You’ll find a new love that could be even better. Every step is something to think about and apply to yourself if you need to.
Table of contents
- 15 Ways to get over your previous partner
- 9 Reasons why you’ll find love again
- 6 Ways to find love again
15 Ways to get over your previous partner
This is the first and probably the most difficult part of the process. How to get over the love you had and may still feel.
1. Focus on your career or family
There’s no better time to improve your job situation than a major life event. You could try and improve your prospects with your current employer or find a better job.
Perhaps you can do better in money or what you’re doing. Maybe you’ve lost focus on your job for a while and now you have the time to give it your all.
It’s the same with your family. You can make more time to see them now you’re single. They may enjoy seeing you more often and are a great support network when you need it most.
2. Get a new hobby
There’s nothing better to take your mind off things than to find something new to enjoy.
It can be a sport or leisure activity. There are countless things you can do and they don’t have to be expensive, unless you want them to be.
A new hobby can take up so much of your time and you’ll meet new people. You may even find a potential partner, at least you’ll have something in common to talk about.
3. Take time to heal the hurt
If the relationship has just ended, you’re going to feel raw right now. You might have many questions for yourself as to what went wrong.
Know that time is a great healer and you’ll feel less for this person the longer you’re without them.
It will become easier to move on with your life as time goes by. Just make sure you keep yourself busy to make that time go quicker.
4. Think about why your ex is your ex
There’s probably very good reasons you’re no longer together. Sometimes it’s better that way and to leave it at that.
Instead of going back and forth with the person, you may need to break it off once and for all. You may need to do this for your own benefit.
If you’ve made the right decision, stick to it and resist any temptation and persuasion to go back. You know if it’s all going to end in tears again.
5. Delete him on social media
Don’t be tempted to follow him to see if he’s found someone else and how soon. Breaking off contact means exactly that, unfollow him everywhere.
Delete his mobile number. You won’t want to receive any texts or phone calls. Make sure his name doesn’t appear.
It’s difficult to stop any news of your ex from coming out when you have the same friends. You might need to create new social media accounts.
6. Move home
If you move to a different area, your ex won’t know where you live and you could make a fresh start. There will be new people who don’t know you.
It’s a big upheaval but perhaps the ultimate restart if you move to a different area. There is a lot of cost and time involved in doing this.
You can be sure your ex will have no knowledge of where you are or what you’re doing. What you do with his possessions when you leave, is up to you.
7. Be single for a while
Some of us can’t stay single. We always want to be in a relationship without getting over the previous one and this not healthy.
We pick the wrong person over and over. Sometimes we should allow ourselves to take the time to enjoy our own company.
We learn from a very young age to go from one relationship to another without finding our true selves.
We can’t find inner happiness and learn to love ourselves if we have to satisfy someone else’s needs all the time.
8. Speak to a professional
If it’s really affecting you and you don’t see a way forward, then speak to a professional. A therapist or life coach, anyone with a sympathetic ear who can make you see a possible future for yourself.
Sometimes it’s better to speak to someone who doesn’t know you. You only see for a certain thing and period of time. You can let loose all your problems and thoughts.
These people have a lot of experience in helping people with exactly the issue you’re having. Just spend some time in finding a good one or one that comes recommended.
9. Grieve over your loss
Losing someone for whatever reason may take some getting over. You may have had them in your life for a long time. When they’re suddenly gone you need to get over the loss.
It’s a big life change to not have someone there when there always used to be. We lean on them for support and encouragement and suddenly it’s not there anymore.
Even if you left for your own benefit and it’s good that you did. You’re still going to have a big adjustment to make and you need to think about that.
10. Go on holiday
One of the best things to get over your ex is to take a break from it all and go on holiday. Whether you choose to stay in the country or go abroad, a holiday can really make you feel better.
It get’s you out of the home, which is probably not a nice place to be at the moment. It gives you something to do and enjoy by yourself or with friends.
They don’t have to cost too much if you use the internet to find a good deal. It gives you the chance to really think about what your future holds.
11. Buy yourself a gift
Just when you feel you need it sometimes it’s good to buy yourself something. Give yourself a treat to make yourself feel better.
Whatever it maybe you’ll get the thrill of choosing it, shopping for it and finally having it. Then you can fully enjoy it.
It can be as small or as big as you like. Call it a present for everything you’ve been through and something you deserve.
12. Get fit and healthy
What better way to get yourself ready to love again than to make yourself look and feel good. Getting fit gives you something to do and is known to improve mood.
If you’ve always wanted to do it, now’s the time to start. You have more free time now there’s no one in the way so there’s nothing stopping you.
Perhaps you’ll begin getting the body you’ve always wanted. Maybe a pert bum and rock hard stomach is what you’ve been after all along.
14. Talk to friends
Your friends have always got your back and will support you through thick and thin. They are one of the best ways to help you get through losing your love.
You’re now available to spend time going out and really enjoying their company. They’ll be only too pleased to get you back to how you once were.
Don’t worry of you’ve lost touch over the years, life happens. Make sure to use them as a support network when you need it most.
15. Focus on your wellbeing
You may have neglected yourself for a long time. Now’s the chance to put that right and think about your needs and wants.
Take steps for yourself and think about what would really make you happy right now. Write these down if you need to for something to look at and go over.
Your inner health is probably what’s suffering. It’s a big part of you and something that can easily be forgotten about.
9 Reasons why you’ll find love again
Despite what you feel right now, you will find love again. You’re not a lost cause and here are the reasons why.
1. You still have time
No matter what your age, you can still find love again. Maybe you were married and you feel you’re at an age where people may not find you attractive.
Maybe you’re too old to have children anymore and think men won’t look at you now. This is simply not true, women are desirable at any age.
Any man will tell you that age in not a concern. We all want something different in a relationship and there will be men who want you.
2 There are people just like you
People go through break ups all the time. It may feel like the end of the world, but it happens and there are people you can talk to about it if you reach out.
You’ll see you’re not alone and as long as you surround yourself with supportive people. You can survive and love again.
Whatever the relationship you had with your ex. There are like minded people who are going through the same thing.
3. You loved once and you can again
There are other people out there you can meet and fall in love with. Even if your ex was your soul mate, there will be others out there.
You may never meet someone exactly like your ex. But you’ll find different things to love and appreciate in someone new.
There are so many different people out there just waiting to meet you. Someone they could like and have something in common with.
4. Accept your love may be different
You may not find someone you love in the same way as your ex, but that doesn’t mean you love them any less. You may find someone who means just as much, if not more, to you.
You may feel no one will ever come close to what you had. But you just never know unless you open yourself up to new people.
You may not love a new partner as much as your ex at first, but sometimes it can grow. Love is a complicated emotion and we can feel it differently for people at different stages.
5. You don’t have to remarry
If you’re separated, you may feel the last thing you want to do is meet someone else and go through all that again. Just remember you don’t have to marry ever again if you don’t want to.
Many couples exist as boyfriend and girlfriend at all kinds of ages and that’s all they want to be. Meet someone with this outlook and know you don’t have to commit anymore.
Having said that you may meet someone who really sweeps you off your feet. You may have stronger feelings for them than your ex and you may agree to marry him. Just know you don’t have to.
6. Don’t compare someone new with your ex
If you’re only willing to love someone who’s just like your ex you probably won’t succeed. You broke up for a reason, so it may not be a good idea to find someone like that.
To love again, you need to be open to someone’s personality traits. It’s not fair if you compare them to your ex as you’ll make yourself closed to someone who could appeal to you.
Remember, there are bad qualities in your ex. No one is perfect and you need to think about that when you’re considering getting in a new relationship.
7. Bad relationships happen
If your relationship was ultimately toxic, don’t worry, they’re not all like that. Sometimes we fall for bad people and we learn to get up and love again.
Even if you really loved the person and they didn’t treat you right. There are people around who can earn your love in the right way.
As long as you learn what went wrong and why, then you can ensure you don’t make the same mistake again. You know in future as soon as you see the signs of a toxic person to stay away.
8. You have the capacity to love again
If you loved once you can love again. It isn’t lost because you’re not with the man you love anymore. Your feelings for him will subside and you’ll be open to love someone else.
As long as you have love for yourself, then you have enough love to go round. You just need to direct it to the person who deserves it most.
When you consider some people get married multiple times. I’m sure they loved every one of their partners just as much as the other. So can you.
9. Know that you deserve love and accept it
Everyone has their own inner beauty. We are all individuals in our own right and deserve the best. We are all lovable no matter what our baggage might be.
Sometimes when we find love we don’t see it or realize it. We must accept when someone loves us for who we are and that we are enough for them.
By accepting this love is the first stage to finding love again when it’s left us. Love is an emotion best shared between two people and it’s there for us if we allow it.
6 Ways to find love again
Love rarely finds us without us doing something to get it. You stand the best chance of finding it again if you follow these 6 simple steps:
1. Find new friends
Widen your social circle to meet new friends as well as potential partners. You may not want a new partner just yet but getting out and meeting new people is always a good thing.
Combine this with a new hobby so you have something in common and it’s a win on all counts. Avoid places where you met your previous partner.
Think of places where you’ll meet the kind of man that appeals to you. If you fancy someone who looks after themselves then join a gym. For someone intellectual join a book club. The choices are endless.
2. Try online dating
If you’ve never tried online dating you’re missing out. You have thousands of potential partners looking for people just like you at the end of a click.
You can get to know several people in one go and choose the one you’d like to meet. If you’re enjoying the attention of many men, then keep messaging them until you’re ready to meet one.
More successful relationships are now starting online than in real life. It’s the way the world is today and if you’re not on board you’re missing out.
3. Re-evaluate your expectations
Remember, a new relationship isn’t going to solve everything. If you don’t think about why things didn’t work out you could come into the same problems with a new man.
Hopefully, you’ve learned and you realize not everyone is perfect. We have to adjust our expectations to what we want out of a relationship.
Go into things differently with someone new, take it slower and really find out who they are. By getting to know them better, you might see their positive features as well and they will see yours.
4. Consider a different type
You may have found love with someone but it didn’t work out. Perhaps you need to rethink about the type you go for. Maybe that’s the reason you’re feeling the heartache is because you go for the same type.
It may be difficult because you find someone like your ex attractive. But you can learn to love again with someone different. This love may be stronger and last longer.
Don’t immediately dismiss someone outright before knowing them a bit more. No one says you have to commit to anyone but give that person a chance.
5. You do the chasing
Perhaps you’re someone who makes herself available and allows the man to pursue you. Well turn that on its head and you make an effort with someone you like.
This way you won’t let that special someone get away. You want to love again so you might have to do more of the chasing to get what you want .
It will surprise the man, and he’ll appreciate a woman who knows what she wants. It might make you nervous at first and not come naturally to you but give it a go and see what happens.
6. Review yourself
Sometimes you need to take a step back and see if we did anything to cause your ex to leave you. There’s often two sides to the story.
You may not want to accept anything was your fault and it may not have been totally. But you do have a chance now to look back and see for yourself how you are in a relationship.
Think about what you like and dislike about yourself and what you can do about them moving forward. Then you may have more success if you want to love again.
The question of will I ever find love again is an ominous one. It’s one which has at its heart a negative connotation. It’s asked when you’re at your lowest.
The answer is you will find love again because many people do and they’re in your exact situation. You won’t feel like it yet, but you will.
It starts by getting over the heartbreak you feel at the moment. Look at the reasons you feel that way and how to move forward with your life.
Meet someone new and fully give them a chance to impress you before rejecting them. This will give you a new perspective on what you want out of a relationship.
By getting out into the big wide world and meeting new and different people. You’ll learn to find love again.